When they came home today they brought me one of those bones made of hide or some other such stuff. They present it to me and then watch as I try to go outside and bury it, I mean don't they know anything? I HAVE to be on my own so's they can't pinch it when I'm not looking, any self respecting dog wouldn't let another see where he's burying a bone for heaven's sake! S'cuse me for a mo while I sit down for a bit, it's thirsty work all this running round the garden trying to outsmart them and, after trying to bury it in my dad's sweetcorn plant, they must have heard me trying to upend it I think, cos mum came out and stopped me. She said it was in case I hurt myself if the pot tipped over but I know it was really so she could see where I'd buried the bone so's she could half inch it when I went to bed tonight, I'm a border collie you know - I'm NOT daft (well, she says I am sometimes, but I don't agree with her). I mean, they are the daft ones, they give me this bone and then expect me to sit in my bed and chew it! The ignominy of it all. See, told you I was clever, I know big words like ignominy and stuff. So, as a proud border collie, I can't for the life of me understand them, probably never will but I have to try it on sometimes, especially with her cos she thinks she's top dog and she's always saying stuff to me which to her sound like "When you can open your own dog food and serve yourself then you can be top dog" which to me sounds like Blah blah blah blah, food blah blah, blah de blah blah! They never understand do they?
Anyway, back to this bone, I am doing my best to make them understand that I want to bury it outside but dad keeps telling me to blah blah blah, or bring it in he says, and he won't see that I want to stay outside and bury it, there's nowhere inside is there? My daddy and my mummy are so daft at times but they love me I know they do, even if mum is staying away from me and daddy for some reason [Because I'm still slightly radioactive doggie darling] see, again, butting in. Blah blah blah stuff. Ah well, soon time for my bonio. I know that word all right, do I ever, AND they brought me black ones today, daddy says they make my poo black and mummy just says it's supposed to help with flatulence, but I don't fart ... well, not that much anyway.
S'cuse me now while I go and see if my bone is still where I buried it. I'm letting mum have the copyright here cos she's sitting there pressing some little buttons for me and looking up at a window with pictures on it. I love 'em really, cos they love me.
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